Heart Shaped World
I lost my Artists Way book! For over a week! And it all went down the pan, just when I was starting to really feel my creative inner artist starting to surface and then BOOM I shut it out (subconsiously) Why is that? Am I afraid of something? - being great?? so today when I finally got a chace to read Week 5 I loved this bit:
Dependence on the creator within is really freedom from all other dependencies - it is the only route to real intimacy. Placing my dependency on the source instead of myself would leave me feeling so free and light!! aaaahh. I've had a recent breakthrough in my marriage - I need to give up being attached to the outcome and give up FIXING all the time. Just let it be, leave it to God - wow, that has just moved me to tears. I'm such a fool... working sooo hard to make it all right, being so impatient - JUST LET IT BE!!! Last week I chose "no, husband" - and felt really light after and now strangely we are having the most romantic time together. Which has really been a theme for me the past week or so. In the relationship seminar I'm doing I created that romance doesn't have to be cheesy t.v romance , chocolates, red roses etc - my attitude was that I am the most unromantic person in the world - didn't want it didn't need it. And then I created that romance is fun, cheeky and naughty - well now I'm inspired!
So, Valentines night I blindfolded my husband and drove him up to Richmond Park (2000acres of wild english countryside 5mins from our house) The gates shut at sunset, but the pedestrian gate was open, so still blindfolded I lead him along the path for about 10mins. I was wondering where on earth we were going to picnic when as if by magic the PERFECT spot appeared, complete with rising full moon, swathes of teeny snowdrops and a view of the twinkling valley framed by massive oak trees - could not believe this gift! So, while he was still blindfolded I set out the blanket, lit loads of candles and then removed his blindfold - he had NO idea where we were! We drank pink champagne and ate smoked salmon etc. Before having fun with the squirty cream thingy and delicious strawberries the size of small apples - awesome and fun and cheeky and then it just got naughty! The most romantic night ever. And then to add to the naughtiness we got locked INTO the park! So, a little drunk and dishevelled we climbed over the 12foot spiky gates while the gate keeper drove up to the gate - hehehe, Such fun and so many giggles! Absolutely - i'm lost for words - It is amazing what we can create and it is awesome what God will provide - MAGIC Serendipity.
The Virtue trap - This is exactly what I needed to read right now. I find it so hard to make the time and the space for me. It is a real effort and I must make it happen - I haven't the past couple weeks and I feel crap for it. So, I acknowledge that I have let myself down and this week I am back into it with a renewed vigour - Morning Pages this week will be 7 out of 7! AND I think I will continue a week behind the rest of you. I don't want to have to rush to catch up - there is so much in each chapter.
This week my weekly art just felt yuck. But the romance theme is there - I was so unhappy with the first one that I made a quick 2nd, and am equally unhappy - no doubt this is the result of me being self destructive...the virtue trap.
Last weekend my artist date was an hour foot reflexology appointment - wow, I felt GREAT after! The woman who did it was soo present and into it - really good for me to just let her give to me, to accept her generosity, her gift, her nurturing energy - it moved me to tears. I felt really filled up after.
Dependence on the creator within is really freedom from all other dependencies - it is the only route to real intimacy. Placing my dependency on the source instead of myself would leave me feeling so free and light!! aaaahh. I've had a recent breakthrough in my marriage - I need to give up being attached to the outcome and give up FIXING all the time. Just let it be, leave it to God - wow, that has just moved me to tears. I'm such a fool... working sooo hard to make it all right, being so impatient - JUST LET IT BE!!! Last week I chose "no, husband" - and felt really light after and now strangely we are having the most romantic time together. Which has really been a theme for me the past week or so. In the relationship seminar I'm doing I created that romance doesn't have to be cheesy t.v romance , chocolates, red roses etc - my attitude was that I am the most unromantic person in the world - didn't want it didn't need it. And then I created that romance is fun, cheeky and naughty - well now I'm inspired!
So, Valentines night I blindfolded my husband and drove him up to Richmond Park (2000acres of wild english countryside 5mins from our house) The gates shut at sunset, but the pedestrian gate was open, so still blindfolded I lead him along the path for about 10mins. I was wondering where on earth we were going to picnic when as if by magic the PERFECT spot appeared, complete with rising full moon, swathes of teeny snowdrops and a view of the twinkling valley framed by massive oak trees - could not believe this gift! So, while he was still blindfolded I set out the blanket, lit loads of candles and then removed his blindfold - he had NO idea where we were! We drank pink champagne and ate smoked salmon etc. Before having fun with the squirty cream thingy and delicious strawberries the size of small apples - awesome and fun and cheeky and then it just got naughty! The most romantic night ever. And then to add to the naughtiness we got locked INTO the park! So, a little drunk and dishevelled we climbed over the 12foot spiky gates while the gate keeper drove up to the gate - hehehe, Such fun and so many giggles! Absolutely - i'm lost for words - It is amazing what we can create and it is awesome what God will provide - MAGIC Serendipity.
my little cousin is staying with me at the mo and she decorated the house last week!
And:
And:
The Virtue trap - This is exactly what I needed to read right now. I find it so hard to make the time and the space for me. It is a real effort and I must make it happen - I haven't the past couple weeks and I feel crap for it. So, I acknowledge that I have let myself down and this week I am back into it with a renewed vigour - Morning Pages this week will be 7 out of 7! AND I think I will continue a week behind the rest of you. I don't want to have to rush to catch up - there is so much in each chapter.
This week my weekly art just felt yuck. But the romance theme is there - I was so unhappy with the first one that I made a quick 2nd, and am equally unhappy - no doubt this is the result of me being self destructive...the virtue trap.
Last weekend my artist date was an hour foot reflexology appointment - wow, I felt GREAT after! The woman who did it was soo present and into it - really good for me to just let her give to me, to accept her generosity, her gift, her nurturing energy - it moved me to tears. I felt really filled up after.
posted by new rhodes at 9:48 PM
1 Comments:
i just loved hearing about your date with your hubby the magic and romance you created, the artist date you took that nurtured yours soul, and the realization that you need to take time for yourself. you're doing so wonderfully!!! ((hugs!))
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