I AM A REAL, VALUED & WORTHY ARTIST
Yay! All is good - where to start?!
Cleaning up - Its Sunday night & while I didn't get to do morning pages last week & I won't make myself wrong about it. I am fully committed this week - I have just now set my alarm for 20mins earlier & put a notebook next to my bed.
The other thing is I signed the contract including that I would have enough sleep while doing this & Friday night didn't go to bed until 3am, so I'm sorry about that, I'm going to change the contract to: I commit myself to excellent selfcare for 6 days of the week for the duration of the course! - but the up side of a late night is that this meant I spent most of Saturday enjoying the soft white sheets of my bed AND reading the AW and working on the excercises! I had a couple of breakthroughs!
My blurts go like: I'm not original, I'm not good enough etc. (I have a blurt page with affirmations on the facing page - so when they come up I write them there). And I distinguished 2 incidents when I was younger and saw that I made up a story about what happened and I attached meaning...So, I have worked on getting complete. The one horror story I wrote a letter to my best friend at Uni (I won't send it) the other horror story I spoke to my Mum about & got complete. Getting complete is something that I am working on in the Relationship Seminar I am going to at the moment. The conversation goes like:
I have been incomplete about....
I give up....
I take responsibility for...
I forgive you for...
I forgive myself for...
I request you forgive me for...
I acknowledge you for...
For me it is very effective - its like these horror stories, that I made mean something about who I am have lost their power. I will continue to look for incomplete incidences for my artist child to work on.
So, thats what I got out of the excercises this week.
My Artist Date - Last Sunday I went to the Tate Gallery. I joined! Annual membership!! yay. That felt really good, like I am going to be going to that Gallery alot and taking my kids - you should see how many kids have little workbooks that the gallery obviously supply and these kids are lying on the floor drawing etc and all these adults are just stepping over and around - LOVE THAT! I went last week & kept thinking how much my boys would like it. But I was also thinking - this is the first time a 12months since I had a day alone, doing what I want. And it felt great, I have this Brilliant Bright Red coat, that you can see a mile away and it was a grey grey london day. I was just floating over that Millenium Bridge - like I was this bright beacon amongst all the grey puddles, and it was FREEZING! And St Pauls cathedral was all misty and beautiful and it was so quiet and peaceful. Oh, I loved that day.
The exhibitions I saw:
Henri Rousseau - he does all those jungle paintings from the 18oo's. I loved the colours and the naivety, like anyone could do that - even me! And they weren't perfect & all 100% finished. I also really liked the element of invoking music by painting someone playing an instrument. Love that. I really liked the light and the black in the paintings. very inspiring.
Jeff Wall - Canadian photographer who captures scenes of everyday contempory life. I didn't stay long in the exhibition, as beautiful as it was - talk about picture perfect!
So that is where I am at on my journey week 1.
I wanted to have an Artists Date this weekend also, but ended up working Sunday. I am thinking I want to go to Harrods this week - I go about once every 2 years - I'm not a huge fan, but they have a great sale & I would like to look at the beautiful china. I am participating in a Teacup swap and want to buy a nice one on sale from there AND I want to buy myself a really good set of saucepans. Nothing like buying good tools for getting creative! Cooking can be a creative outlet & I figure I am old enough to invest in a really good set - after living on hand me down pans and cheap stuff. I think my creative child would have fun playing with that! weee...
Cleaning up - Its Sunday night & while I didn't get to do morning pages last week & I won't make myself wrong about it. I am fully committed this week - I have just now set my alarm for 20mins earlier & put a notebook next to my bed.
The other thing is I signed the contract including that I would have enough sleep while doing this & Friday night didn't go to bed until 3am, so I'm sorry about that, I'm going to change the contract to: I commit myself to excellent selfcare for 6 days of the week for the duration of the course! - but the up side of a late night is that this meant I spent most of Saturday enjoying the soft white sheets of my bed AND reading the AW and working on the excercises! I had a couple of breakthroughs!
My blurts go like: I'm not original, I'm not good enough etc. (I have a blurt page with affirmations on the facing page - so when they come up I write them there). And I distinguished 2 incidents when I was younger and saw that I made up a story about what happened and I attached meaning...So, I have worked on getting complete. The one horror story I wrote a letter to my best friend at Uni (I won't send it) the other horror story I spoke to my Mum about & got complete. Getting complete is something that I am working on in the Relationship Seminar I am going to at the moment. The conversation goes like:
I have been incomplete about....
I give up....
I take responsibility for...
I forgive you for...
I forgive myself for...
I request you forgive me for...
I acknowledge you for...
For me it is very effective - its like these horror stories, that I made mean something about who I am have lost their power. I will continue to look for incomplete incidences for my artist child to work on.
So, thats what I got out of the excercises this week.
My Artist Date - Last Sunday I went to the Tate Gallery. I joined! Annual membership!! yay. That felt really good, like I am going to be going to that Gallery alot and taking my kids - you should see how many kids have little workbooks that the gallery obviously supply and these kids are lying on the floor drawing etc and all these adults are just stepping over and around - LOVE THAT! I went last week & kept thinking how much my boys would like it. But I was also thinking - this is the first time a 12months since I had a day alone, doing what I want. And it felt great, I have this Brilliant Bright Red coat, that you can see a mile away and it was a grey grey london day. I was just floating over that Millenium Bridge - like I was this bright beacon amongst all the grey puddles, and it was FREEZING! And St Pauls cathedral was all misty and beautiful and it was so quiet and peaceful. Oh, I loved that day.
The exhibitions I saw:
Henri Rousseau - he does all those jungle paintings from the 18oo's. I loved the colours and the naivety, like anyone could do that - even me! And they weren't perfect & all 100% finished. I also really liked the element of invoking music by painting someone playing an instrument. Love that. I really liked the light and the black in the paintings. very inspiring.
Jeff Wall - Canadian photographer who captures scenes of everyday contempory life. I didn't stay long in the exhibition, as beautiful as it was - talk about picture perfect!
So that is where I am at on my journey week 1.
I wanted to have an Artists Date this weekend also, but ended up working Sunday. I am thinking I want to go to Harrods this week - I go about once every 2 years - I'm not a huge fan, but they have a great sale & I would like to look at the beautiful china. I am participating in a Teacup swap and want to buy a nice one on sale from there AND I want to buy myself a really good set of saucepans. Nothing like buying good tools for getting creative! Cooking can be a creative outlet & I figure I am old enough to invest in a really good set - after living on hand me down pans and cheap stuff. I think my creative child would have fun playing with that! weee...
posted by new rhodes at 8:43 PM
2 Comments:
I absolutely adore Rousseau..... I've never had the chance to explore London - must do that some day. Your Artist's Date sounds fabulous!
wow! what a wonderful week you've had!! i have a lot of similar blurts. and i think it's perfectly ok to stay up late one night and sleep in on saturdays.; that's fantastic self-care in my book! :-)
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